This was written Saturday morning:
It's nearly 5:00 AM, and I'm incredibly restless. I started to fall asleep on the couch while Gaz and I were watching Slumber Party Massacre 3
, but when he turned it off to go to bed himself I decided to come in and type out an entry first. That was around 2:00 AM, and here I remain. Apparently, the sun begins to rise at 3:30 here. Isn't helping.
Not that I'm complaining. I've got slightly different tasting 7-UP, a bag of chips that manages only to contain "potatoes, vegetable oil, salt" and lists nutritional facts about "PROTEIN CARBOHYDRATES of which SUGARS" and "FAT of which SATURATES."
Today, Gaz and I ventured to Blackpool, which Neil had previously mentioned as being unintentionally hilarious. Gaz too explained this element of it on the way. Basically a wonderfully tacky seaside tourist trap with several amusement parks, a wax museum, topless joints (advertising the ULTIMATE lap dance, which I figure must be like Ultimate Fighting... both of which include one's legs straddling another's) and places not meant to be risque but with unfortunate names like "Slots of fun."A picture I took after hijacking a helicopter, or not
The first thing we did was walk down to the big amusement park that I don't even know the name of. I've never seen so many rides in such a small space of land. It was to the point where, when I was standing behind ticketing for one ride, I couldn't tell which of the multiple rollercoaster hills in my line of vision actually belonged to it.
In front of an Around the World in 80 Days tunnel of love type ride, there was a cartoony statue of a British explorer shaking hands joyfully with a welcoming, bone-shrouded African Native. He is like OH MAN I AM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS HERE COLONIALISM. Oh how I longed for a camera.
We rode two rides, the best of which was an indoor rollercoaster/water ride deal called "Valhalla," which featured animatronic Vikings and soforth. You really don't even need the soforth, do you? For most of it, everything was pitch black. Sometimes, it was cold and othertimes, hot. I closed my eyes tight after going down a hill in the darkness, anticipating a splash of water. After getting soaked, I kept them shut tight for a few more seconds until I opened them and saw a giant arch of water over my head. That was fairly neat. The ride was unlike any other I'd been on for one simple fact: There was actual fire. Maybe some places in America have that, but whaddoIknow.
The next best thing I saw was an airbrushed Bruce Willis.
Gaz bought a raspberry Slush Puppy, which we shared as we sat on the beach. After that was done, we walked on the sand for a half hour or so. We determined a woman screamed at the water because it was polluted, and strained to decipher the unintelligible shrieks of a pair of blonde-haired toddlers. There were also puddles and large rocks, which we introduced to each other. Gaz wrote his name in the sand, while I drew a cactus yelling "JERK!"
On our way back to the car, we bought donuts and Gaz laughed at me as I looked the wrong ways for oncoming traffic.
After eating a nice dinner of ample meats at some place I've already forgotten the name of, we came home. Hung around on the internets and otherwise. Was introduced to comedian Bill Bailey. I could not stop laughing at his remark about the difficulty of selling doors door to door.
Wow, Gaz should be up in half an hour. I'm starting to get nervous about the actual school element of this trip (IE, the point).